Some More Thoughts on BDSM
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Posted:Dec 7, 2012 1:48 pm
Last Updated:Dec 12, 2012 5:14 am
2752 Views
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Well it has been a while since I have posted. I wanted to be having a regular kind of series thing going on about BDSM, kink, and the sort. I have fond that ideas actually don't come that easily to talk about. I have experienced a lot during my time in the local kink community, seen people and places come and go. There is one staple that has been around for more than 15 years that I enjoy and always look forward to... The ball ( most people recall it as The Black and Blue Ball). The Ball is stated to be one of Canada's longest running Pansexual Fetish events. The Ball is held every 2 months. It is a good place to watch and be watched. If you like to strut what you got or see what is out there it is the place to be. Everyone is welcome, just follow the rules and you will have a good time. Most people are worried about the fetish dress code is hard to get by, but it isn't so hard to dress for The Ball. If it is your first time going put on your sexiest lingerie and walk around and enjoy the attention and sights. If you want to get a little more into the fetish dress there are a few places in the city to find outfits. For the guys, most just run around in their underwear, a nice suit with a few accessories like leather gloves or hang some rope or floggers from your belt and you are good to go. If you are really hard up for ideas come in black pants and by a ball t-shirt and you are good to go. So don't be shy, pick up a ticket for the Valentines Ball(they are usually available a week or two before the event at local adult clothing stores)February 9, 2013. Come out and have a ball at The Ball.
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BDSM and My Thoughts
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Posted:Sep 22, 2012 4:43 pm
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2012 10:34 pm
2850 Views
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Fear, Wikipedia defines it as an emotion induced by a perceived threat that causes animals to move quickly away from the location of the perceived threat, and sometimes hide. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. In short, fear is the ability to recognize danger leading to an urge to confront it or flee from it (also known as the fight-or-flight response) but in extreme cases of fear (horror and terror) a freeze or paralysis response is possible.
Fear is a tool that is used in all aspects of BDSM. How is that you may ask. Well in several ways. The first is on the initial meet. You are going to meet for the first time, there are butterflies in your stomach, your hands are a little damp, "What if they don't show? What if there isn't a connection? What if there is?" These or some form of these, questions are flying through your mind at the speed of thought. You may have talked online or even on the phone a million times, but those thoughts are there. The fear of the unknown. But even thou you feel like running, the adrenaline rush feels good and you move forward.
Fear of the unknown is used the most. A Dom(I will use this term for anyone that would be the person that is control of the scene) will in some way limit the senses of the sub(I will use this term for anyone that would be the person that gives up control in the scene) so that they will not know exactly what will be coming next. This could be as simple as just staying behind the sub or as elaborate as restraining, blind folding, and ear plugs. This is where the majority of all BDSM uses fear.
A smaller percentage will play on the opposite end of the scale, what we call edge play. Here a person needs to very careful because your are playing with another person's psyche. Once a Dom has been playing with a sub for a while there is a level of trust that is built. The sub is trusting that the Dom will not do any harm. They have talked over and over again and the Dom is well a where of the sub's limits. They have decided it is time to take their play up a notch. The sub tells the Dom a few of their fears, like the dark, cramped places, spiders... or whatever it might be. They agree that a scene will take place that will play on one of the sub's fears. This is where it starts. The sub doesn't know which fear it will be, their mind goes to all kinds of places trying to imagining what will happen, aggravating their fears way before the scene even starts. The Dom will set up the play space with somethings that will bring the sub's fears to the fore front. The Dom will use a little from each fear with the sub's senses available to them. After a bit the Dom will remove some or all of the sub's senses. With the sub really not being able to tell what is coming next, their own thoughts will heighten the fear they are feeling. The Dom will choose one fear to play on. The D/s relationship should be at a point that the Dom would be able to tell what kind of state the sub is in just from body movement, breathing rate, tone and pitch of voice. There needs to be a lot of trust here. If the Dom lets the scene run too long there could be emotional damage done to the sub. The adrenaline and endorphin high, or sub space, that the sub can get will be greater than any other they have experienced before. The Dom will also experience a high, that is referred as Dom space, that is higher than any other before. This comes from the power of truly having another person give their life into the Dom's hands. This is a great responsibility that needs to be respected.
Fear, that happy little tingle and all the way to the point when you freeze in terror. It can all be used and enjoyed. Be responsible, safe, courteous and above all else do not play beyond your capabilities.
If there is any topic that you might want me to give my thoughts on just drop me a line.
Stay horny.
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