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| Blogs > verybadgirl20 > Confessions of a Badgirl |
I got played by a player ...
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I got played by a player ... This post is only viewable by HotMatch.com members. Join HotMatch.com now! |
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"The blanket of security that I got from sharing a portion of someones life albeit online was comforting." Wow. I am of course sorry to hear you got treated like this. But mostly I was struck by how accurate this one sentence was. I have always said, truthfully, that I am not really looking to meet anyone by being here, but even so, without setting out to find them, I have had some intense on line flings and also made some real friends through the site. Probably because of an appreciation for the added security having a second life on line has given me. And I am very glad to say that as yet I have not discovered that any of the people I have got close to have lied to me. I hope you quickly get over this and have better experiences from now on.
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9/29/2012 11:56 pm |
Hiya I think you may be referring to Henrik Ibsen who says: "Just as the liar's punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe any one else..." Verybadgirl, what this guy did is pretty horrible. I'm afraid that online you'll encounter this all the time - as indeed you will offline. Please come and visit my blog - trust and caring is important to me. Cheers BBG (BadBadGirl) XXX Most Watche Blog on HotMatch.com oziealt
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I certainly understand your dismay in feeling deceived, but there is something you have not sufficiently taken into account, that is the pleasure people have in role playing with strangers. (In the case you relate, he appears not to have made promises he broke). If someone feels his/her relationship with you will be limited to distant communication (online, email, phone), that liberates this person from having to be him/herself as he/she is in real life. And this could be very pleasurable: suddenly the person is free from the many contingencies that restrict his/her possibilities in everyday/real life. He/she can then live out a fantasy together with someone else that may be impossible in life. This is why the game Second Life is so popular: you can lead a parallel life in which you get to choose all the defining features of who you are. To give you a more extreme example: suppose an elderly woman wishes to relive (in a limited way) her youth that she now feels she wasted. Well, if she comes here and announces she is 73 years old, she is obviously not going to get what she wants. So she says she is 24 and makes up various things that correspond not to what she is now but to what in retrospect she would have liked to be at 24. And she finds someone to flirt and have cybersex. Is that legitimate? I would say yes, so long as she doesn't hold out the prospect of a physical relationship: if she says "I'm here just for verbal exchange and cyber", why not? Of course it would be disconcerting for the other to find out after a few months that he/she had been playing not with a 24 year old but with someone three times older. But on a website like this one, I would take it in stride and not be too bitter about it. This kind of game is not my thing, but I do remember instances in my life where I have enjoyed presenting myself as someone totally different from what I really was, not with the intention of "obtaining" anything through deception, but simply to play a different role from my usual one. I remember meeting a girl on a train in Japan may years ago and telling her I was a mailman in America; I enjoyed making up a story-book personality, so we had a pleasant two hours and that was it. If I were to replay this scene today, I might tell her about various (imaginary) sexual encounters with housewives or receptionists to whom I delivered mail, and this might even lead to our ending up in a hotel room. But would that be more reprehensible than telling her about actual experiences I had had as the grad student I was at the time, and spending the night with her as myself rather than as the imaginary mailman?
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Yes they are out there. Sorry that you feel betrayed, but it has happened to us all at one point. I try to be as honest as I can when I message/chat/meet someone, which has not always been to my benefit. I'm a single dad, which means I don't have alot of free time, and I definitely can't go out any time I want either. I've had women question whether I was really married or not because of that, but I'm divorced. I guess all we can do is hope to enjoy the site for whatever purpose we need to it be...
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I find it's easier to assume everyone on here is a player until proven otherwise. I'm not being cynical, it's just the nature of the site. For many, it seems to be mostly online fun, as you seemed to enjoy so much. I wish everyone was a little more upfront about their true circumstances and wishes, but it is what it is. Good luck! Mike.
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